Hockey Bench

More mens' league hockey. This time, a win for a change.

We had 8 players, which is at least one short. With 9, you can play 2 full lines and the 3 defensemen can rotate. With 8, you only have 5 forwards, so there's no organized rotation -- you just come off when you're tired.

Which brings me to a story that illustrates the phenomenon:

Men Can't Speak to Each Other Without Irony

When you have 5 or fewer forwards, there's a temptation to think that you have to take longer shifts on the ice. This isn't the best approach, however. You still need to work at taking short shifts -- it makes no sense to have over-rested players on the bench.

During a game a few years ago, when we had only 4 forwards (so just one on the bench), our teammate Gary felt it was his duty to take 6 minute shifts. Another teammate, Jimmy, tried to explain to him that he still needed to make quick changes.

Jim: Gary, shorter shifts.

Gary: Laughs. (Translation: I get your joke. We don't have many players, so we can't have shorter shifts, so by telling me to take shorter shifts, you're making a reference to how few players we have in a humorous way.)

Jim: No, seriously. Shorter shifts.

Gary: Laughs harder. (Translation: It's funny how you said it again, because it was funny the first time, and now you're repeating yourself, which is even funnier.)

Jim: You don't need to be out on the ice for 6 minutes.

Gary: Doubled over laughing. (Translation: It's so funny when guys keep repeating the same funny thing in a different way. And that's what you're doing. So it's funny.)

This went on for a while, and Jimmy was totally unable to get Gary to listen to what he was saying without hearing sarcasm. I have noticed this phenomenon throughout my life, both as a male myself and as an observer of high school boys.

We are a difficult breed. No, seriously, we are.