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Jonah is very good on the guitar. I am very good on the air guitar. As long as the music is loud, and nobody's really looking at me.

My one musical experience was with the saxophone in eighth grade. I was a very literal child. When I was given an instruction by a teacher, I tried to follow it exactly. I had no idea at the time how this was killing creativity, and when I see this trait in my children, it makes me nuts.

Anyway, my music teacher gave me and the two or three others in my sax class very specific instructions about how to blow into the sax. It involved the tongue and puffing and a gentle humming noise you had to make. I practiced this carefully, and after two weeks my saxophone had yet to make a noise. How can you not make a noise with a saxophone? Meanwhile, my peers, who I saw as less able to follow instructions, were nodding at the teacher and then just blowing into their instruments, making great sounds and learning to play "Mary Had a Little Lamb" and the like. Me, I gave up.

This is why I found a musical wife. It's cool when your kids can do things you can't. And they can't flaunt it over me, because I'm still larger than both of them.